Hiding

Cat hiding under a sofa trying to sleep
Usagi hiding under the couch is my spirit animal right now

I’ve been having trouble posting here recently. The point of this blog was to write more, which I haven’t really been doing. I also wanted to get back into web design again, and finally learn how to make a WordPress theme. But right now, I’m just tired. I’ve tried to cut myself some slack, given the state of the world right now, and not be too hard on myself or have too high of expectations. But I want to find time to write, even if it’s hard. I’ve been doing little stuff, like working on my Carmilla costume and posting more frequently on Instagram. I also have a couple of short stories in the works that I might be able to clean up enough to share here. In the meantime, I’m just going to keep trying the best I can, to just keep going. One day at a time. Or just start hiding under the sofa with the kitty. That may also be a valid choice.

Gisher

I took part in the Gish mini one-day hunt over the weekend, and it was a blast! These are some of my favorite contributions to our team’s efforts. I got to recreate the cover of one of my favorite books, using parts of old costumes and some improvisation. I made a Tolkien style fantasy map of my house and got to come up with cool fantasticical names for mundane rooms. I baked an anatomy cake, finally finding an excuse to use my Halloween skull cake pan that has been untouched in my kitchen cabinet for years. I built a photo backdrop for me and my dog out of old cardboard boxes. Many treats were given for Mari’s participation in that last one. I had a lot of fun and could help a great cause at the same time. I also met some awesomely creative people on my amazing team Huffleclaw! We all came together to do some incredible stuff!

A recreation of the cover of A Handmaid's Tale
Wearing a Harry Potter robe backwards to make this work
A fantasy style map of my house
The Land of House
A skull shaped cake
A cake decorated like one of those anatomy teaching tools
Me and a dog in a photo backdrop
The Illusive Shiba Fish

Wishing For Naps

I’ve been feeling really exhausted recently, and this week has hit me super hard. It kind of feels like every week hits me really hard nowadays, but still. I’ve been trying desperately to actually be productive, and work on my Carmilla cosplay or other projects. But everyday this week I’ve ended up napping right along with my son instead of doing anything. Maybe I can break the cycle today.

In the meantime, at least I’m not the only one in the house who needs a nap as much as my two year old.

Shiba resting on the couch
Couch potato Shiba, with remote control at the ready.

Wednesday Already

This week has gotten away from me. This happened less often before the apocalypse began, but nowadays I have trouble telling days apart. I’m basically always tired and unmotivated to do much of anything outside of parenting in the mornings and working in the evenings. I am so beyond burnt out at this point that I can barely see straight.

That being said, I’m trying to do little stuff to keep myself calm and happy. I spent an hour yesterday cutting out pattern pieces to try to figure out a corset pattern for Carmilla. I’m also trying to organize all my cosplay stuff into a nifty planner. Anytime I start to feel crappy, or like I have no control over the world around me, organizing something that I can control helps. Once I get my cosplay organizer done, I’ll put some pictures of it up.

Maybe by then it’ll be Wednesday again.

Ice Cream Time

I won’t go into all the reasons why today was… not great, but it was not. All those fun indoor activities I had planned did not work out, and instead of cheering myself up today, I’ve ended up in a worse mood than ever.

So, today became a good day for ice cream. I’ll just pretend that this sundae in a cup was not actually my dinner.

Ice cream

Nothing Doing

This whole week has been insanely boring. I’ve been working from home, but that is incredibly difficult when all of my home distractions are available, and I’d rather be doing any one of those things than working. The incessant worry isn’t helping with my focus either.

But, I’m going to try to cheer up. I don’t have to work tommorow, so I’ve got some fun indoor activities planned for myself. Hopefully that will take my mind off of things.

Leap Day

It doesn’t particularly feel like an extra day of the year. Still, it’s pretty interesting to me to have a day that only occurs every four years, give or take. I still don’t understand all the rules involved. It feels like one of those “i before e except after c” things, where there’s a rule, but then there are rules for the rule, and it just gets confusing.

I ended up spending the day running errands with my husband and son, finishing folding a truly absurd amount of laundry, and watching my kid play. I also tried to squeeze in a little bit of website design while he was napping, and managed to crash Photoshop mid-save. So, I ended up making negative progress somehow.

But now I’ve recreated everything that I accidentally deleted and have finished my design. Now to see if I remember how to write CSS sheets…

Mardi Gras

I honestly didn’t realize today was Mardi Gras. Normally I don’t realize it, but I had a plan this year, and missing Mardi Gras actually would have messed my plan up.

I was raised Catholic, and even though I no longer go to church or practice, the only real holdover from my past religion is Lent. The theory is you’re supposed to give something up as a sacrifice. It was never a practice that made a lot of sense to me, even though it’s supposed to be symbolic. But when I would give things up, it would always be something kind of silly, like chocolate or ice cream or something, and half the time I wouldn’t even manage to get through 40 days without slipping.

So a few years ago I changed my plan. For the 40 days of Lent, I gave up procrastination. I forced myself to create something every day and posted it on the internet for accountability. It was hard, but I did it with no slips. It might not be as much in the spirit of things to give up something so intangible, but it genuinely helped me and made me feel like I was actually doing something that mattered, instead of just pretending to give up something trivial that I would totally go back to the second Lent was over.

So this year, I’m giving up something more intangible again. I’m giving up ignoring my blog. However dumb I feel about it, I’m going to post here everyday until Lent is over. Heck I might even try to push for Easter. We’ll see how things go. I suppose I accidentally picked the right time to come back here and start writing again. Here’s to happy accidents!